the post with the friendships.

Being an Air Force brat and all, I’ve made and lost a lot of friends throughout my life. I’ve lost touch with some friends, grown apart from others, and I’ve had friendships that ended due to huge blow-outs. I’ve had a lot of people that I’ve considered to be a best friend, and others who have never been called that, but I still consider to be a close friend. Even though I’m admittedly a selfish person sometimes, I like to think that when it comes to anyone that I consider to be a friend, I’m selfless when it matters.

You know that quote that says “Sometimes we expect more from others because we’d be willing to do that much for them?” That’s how I feel about a lot of my friendships. I’m one of those people that love Christmas and birthdays because I get to think of the best gift to give to the people I love. When I’m just out shopping and I see something that reminds me of someone, I like to buy it for a ‘just because’ gift. I love surprising my friends, especially when I haven’t talked to them in a while, just to remind them that I still love them and I’m thinking about them.

The funny thing with friendship, though, is that, like in a romantic relationship, one person always cares more than the other. There are lots of different types of friends out there, and some things have been happening lately that have made me want to define some of the types of friends that I have in my life.

1. The fun friend. It’s good to have a fun friend in your life for those days when you don’t want to talk about anything serious. A fun friend is someone that you can always look to for a good time, whether it be a night on the town or just someone to make you laugh. I have a lot of fun friends in my life. There are only a few friends that I can open up to and talk to about serious stuff, but it’s rare that I do this with my fun friends. These friends are usually spontaneous and down to just have a good time. Fun friends rarely see me cry. They’re the friends I go to when I just want to smile.
2. The listening friend. Pretty much the opposite of the fun friend. These are the friends I go to when I just need someone to talk to. They’re the friends that I rant to about my problems, and I often reciprocate by listening to theirs. Of course I still have fun with some my listening friends, but maybe not as much fun as with the fun friends. Listening friends are the real friends who are always there for you, whether it be in person or over the phone. Everyone should have a listening friend.
3. The long-term friend. These are you forever friends, the people that have been in your life for so long that you can’t get rid of them now. I have some long-term friends that I’m closer to than others. Because I’ve moved around a lot, I have a lot of long-term friends that live far away from me. When we do get together, we have a good time, but when we’re apart, we rarely talk. A lot of my long-term friends were once considered to be a best friend, but we’re not as close anymore. The only bad thing about long-term friends is that sometimes when you do get together, it’s a little awkward at first because a lot has changed since you last really talked. I have some long-term friends that when we get together, it’s like no time has passed, and other long-term friends that stay awkward the whole time we’re together. I think it’s important to have long-term friends, because these friends know about some of the past heartaches that you wouldn’t want to bring up to any new friends, including your listening friends.
4. The convenience friend. This is the friend that you call up when you’re bored and have no one else to talk to. Usually your convenience friend considers you to be a convenience friend as well, so don’t feel bad for considering them as a convenience friend. Sometimes your convenience friends can also be your fun friends if your convenience friend happens to be a lot of fun.
5. The fake friend. When I say fake, I don’t mean they’re liars or anything like that. Fake friends are the people that say they miss you, but they really don’t because they don’t actually make an effort to see you when they’re in close proximity. Calling them a friend is actually kind of a stretch. The fake friend can sometimes be like a convenience friend or a friendly friend (see #10).
6. The friend of a friend. This one is pretty self-explanatory. A friend of a friend is obviously someone who is friends with your friends. You may hang out sometimes when your mutual friend invites the both of you somewhere. You make small talk when you’re there together, and you add each other on Facebook and Instagram, but you don’t talk or see each other unless your mutual friend is there too.
7. The social media friend. These are the friends that you have fun with and talk to when you’re together, but when you’re apart, you only speak through social media. You never call or FaceTime or Skype. I have a lot of these friends that I love. We text a lot, send each other SnapChats, and like each other’s photos on Instagram. We’ll tweet back and forth and write the occasional “I miss you” post on each other’s walls, but we never actually talk to each other. These are the friends that give me daily reminders that someone several miles away from me is thinking about me.
8. The holiday friend. Holiday friends are the ones that only remember that you exist when it comes to holidays. This is usually around Christmas when everyone gets the bulk “Merry Christmas” text message. Some holiday friends also remember me around Thanksgiving. People who never speak to you but will write on your wall or send a text on your birthday are also considered to be holiday friends.
9. The perfect friend. When I say perfect friend, I mean a friend that you kind of look up to, a role model of sorts. These are the friends that have a lot of good things going for them. They have the job you want or the perfect family or perfect boyfriend/girlfriend or the best wardrobe, from your perspective anyway. I can only think of a couple friends in my life that fit this type. These friends don’t make me feel bad about myself or anything. They make me want to set goals. These are the friends make me want to be a better version of myself.
10. The friendly friend. I couldn’t come up with a better term for this type of friend, but these are the friends that you’re friendly to when you see them, but you don’t really hang out. I guess the friendly friend could also be considered an acquaintance. Whenever you see each other, you’re friendly, but you don’t make an effort to see each other outside of running into each other.

There are lots of other types of friends, but these are the ones that are sticking out to me at the moment. I know I sometimes use the term loosely, but I do love all of my friends, some more than others obviously. Twenty-three years later, I’m beginning to surround myself with the friends that really matter, the ones that love me and would do anything for me, just like I would do for them, and I’m slowly getting rid of the ones who are selfish in our friendship. I have big dreams, and I don’t need any negative, fake, or convenience friends holding me back.

-- tiffanykhyla.