Quarter-Life Crises and Making Changes
Something I've been trying to figure out lately is why no one tells you how hard your 20's are. I mean, seriously, there are millions of people in the world who have already survived their 20's, yet no one seems to want to offer any kind of warning about how much your 20's really take a toll on you.
A little over a month ago, I felt like I was at the end of my rope. My anxiety was through the roof, and I decided to go to the doctor to figure out what was happening. Panic attacks were something serious. I was in my head a lot. The self-doubt was never ending, and it was like every single part of my life stressed me out. I cried a lot by myself and fell into a mini depression because I just felt so lost.
When I went to the doctor, he diagnosed me with ADHD, something I definitely wasn't expecting. The ironic thing is that one of the side effects of ADHD is heightened anxiety, but somehow, once I started taking Vyvanse, my anxiety seemed to lower a little bit. My theory is that I was finally told that it wasn't just me. There was something "wrong" with me that was fixable, and maybe that helped to ease my mind a bit.
While that's all well and good, I still felt so, so lost. I was still in my head, constantly questioning all of my actions and trying to figure out if I was wasting my time in every aspect of my life.
What's my real passion? How do I figure out how to turn that into a career?
What's the end game for my job? Will I stay with the company forever?
Why am I still in Louisiana?
How do I know if I'm dating the person I'm meant to be with forever?
What do I need to do to be truly happy?
That's just the tip of the iceberg. I felt like life was playing a game with me and tossing so many questions in my direction.
Recently, I made a few decisions that I believe have helped steer me in the right direction. Surely I can't be the only one in my mid-twenties feeling lost with no clue where to go from here. I don't know what my passions are. I don't know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I feel like I don't even know who I am, and I'm having such a hard time trying to figure out how the hell to figure it out.
Again I ask, why doesn't anyone tell you how hard your 20's are?It's a freaking rollercoaster of emotions and confusion and stress.
All that said, I feel like the decisions I've made have put me in a better place. I've been feeling so happy lately because I really feel like the world is my oyster and I can do whatever I want, but at the same time, I'm freaking out because I just don't know what I want.
Are you a 20-something? Have you ever felt like you were having a quarter-life crisis? What advice do you have for people trying to figure out their lives?
09
10
Oh, I'm so sorry that you're going through such a hard time! Anxiety is so scary. I've never experienced it first hand, but I work with a lot of people who struggle with it. Hope those decisions pan out! I'm sure everything will be okay eventually. I had to make a few tough decisions after I graduated college, but making pro/con lists helped me the most!
ReplyDeleteAlessandra | The PumpUp Blog
Sorry to hear you are going thru a rough time. I hope things will get better for you. Hugs.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amysfashionblog.com/blog-home
I loved your honesty in this post! My 20s have been a roller coaster of emotion, but it's totally natural. I think these are exploratory years for us and it's important to try different things to find out what it is that we want. Personally, what I struggled with the most in my early and mid 20s was wondering if I was getting comfortable or complacent in my career or relationships. Whenever I started to feel like that, I would think about my next step. That's a big reason of why I decided to apply to business school! Hang in there lady, everything will work itself out :)
ReplyDeleteI am a 20-something, and I can definitely relate to the way you feel. Perhaps one of the worst things about having a quarter-life crisis is that so many of the older adults in our lives don't take us seriously, as if being young means that we aren't subjected to struggles. I've had anxiety from a young age, so I'm always experimenting with ways to ease it. I find exercise, reading, and cleaning/re-organizing to be really freeing, but it's all about finding what works for you. Just try to remember that this too shall pass, and that life will take you to where you need to be!
ReplyDeletexx
Madison
http://chicandchai.com/
I also suffer from anxiety, and have been feeling the same...but I think the main thing is that my husband and I have decided for me to be a SAHM...this transition is really hard, especially since I only have 1 boy and I don't make friends easily, and we only have one car which my husband takes to work...so I've been doing a lot of What If thinking and Will I Ever thinking...it's dangerous and damaging. But, next week, as my son has his 1 year check up, I'm also going to talk to our doctor about my anxiety and down feelings and see what he suggests!
ReplyDeleteMy SO and I are trying to figure out where we are moving in 6 months. This includes balancing both of our career goals and family concerns. It doesn't help that we have to do all of this by phone. I've been pretty stressed out by it. I know that everything will work out in the end, it's just a hard process to go through. I've been reading my prayers for a jesus freak daily!
ReplyDeleteKnow that you aren't the only one. I would sit down and make a list of what you want/need. Then put them in order of significance. This has really helped me! xoxo
I can definitely relate! I feel like I'm due for my quarter life crisis any day now #ugh
ReplyDeleteYour 20s are so hard and I've really realized that I'm not the only confused one (everyone else is confused too)! I've sort of let go of the idea of a passion or a person I am "meant to be with" and decided that they are all concious choices. I need to choose a career or field to pursue, I need to choose a person to work on a relationship with (and here's the tricky part they need to choose me too)! Good luck with your anxiety girl, it can be a tough battle!
ReplyDeleteThe quarter life crisis is definitely a real thing! It helps to know that you aren't alone. I also believe that what's meant to be will be.
ReplyDeleteXx
heapsofme.com
I literally ask myself these questions all the time! I'm 23 and still in school and sometimes i start stressing about how i'll find a job after i graduate or if i'll finally be able to figure out what i really want out of life. i am so happy that i'm not the only who feels this way! Thank you so much for sharing ♥
ReplyDeleteYes to all of this!
ReplyDeletePost grad life has been such a struggle for me and raised a lot of doubt.
You just gotta do what feels right for you and go from there.
xoxo, Jenny || Breakfast at Lillys
Thank you for getting real about life in our 20's! It's not all parties and fun and games! Real life can be a shocker!
ReplyDelete-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
This is such a great post, and it does raise some really amazing questions! The only advice I can give you is that everything in your life is going to be okay. I know that that seems sort of small now but I can promise that if you keep that thought in your mind it can help a little with your anxiety. It definitely helped with mine when I was in a similar spot. If you ever want to talk you can always reach out to me! :)
ReplyDeletexx | Steph @ The Lovely Essentials & Jenssen's Designs
My head is basically that all the time! It's stressful with all the thoughts rambling around. Glad the doctor was able to help a bit. Also glad that the decision put you in a better place! It's helps so much with the ramble when your in a better place physically!
ReplyDeleteThis is me and I sometimes hate it. Sometimes I want to quit my job and just travel but then I remember that bills exist. UGH.
ReplyDeletePreach. You're definitely so right, and you're definitely SO not alone, tiff! But the good news is that life is constantly and evolutionary process, so it's normal and OKAY to be lost and confused quite a few times in your life. It's all about the bounce back and what you do with what you learn from the harder times!
ReplyDeletecominguprosestheblog.com
I'm not 20-something yet...but I've definitely had a life crisis! Growing up is hard. Transferring schools was the hardest decision I've ever made and it really made me re-evaluate my priorities and chase my passion (which is Public Health/all things baby). It was also the most confusing time of my life. I was trying so hard to balance everything. The key in this situation I think is to tell yourself that you're not the only one, and this too shall pass :) I also love this quote: "An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great."
ReplyDeletehttp://thealwaysblog.com/
You are definitely not alone. I think it's normal to feel unsettled in your twenties. There is a lot we still haven't figured out. Is this the right job? Will a few dates turn into something more? Should we stay together? It seems like you are taking the right steps for YOU and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you understand! I feel like my 20's have just been a cluster of odd experiences, and I can't seem to figure out how to truly make the transition from being a college student to being a real adult.
ReplyDeleteI've transferred schools before, so I definitely understand how tough that can be! Thank you so much for your helpful advice! It's good to know that I'm not the only one who has struggled with trying to find myself.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, Erica. Thank you so much for all of your lovely emails. You've really helped me so much, and I couldn't be more grateful!
ReplyDeleteI FEEL THE SAME WAY!
ReplyDeleteRight?! I just want my brain to shut up!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like so much pressure, Jess! I can definitely understand why you'd be freaking out about life after uni. I feel like millennials are such a strange generation because there's so much more expected of us than before. Expectations are high not just from other people, but also for ourselves, especially when people our age are doing so many entrepreneurial things and becoming successful at such a young age. It's such a strange time to be in your 20's.
ReplyDeleteThat's actually really awesome advice, Steph, and I really appreciate it! You're so sweet, and I may take you up on that offer!
ReplyDeleteThat's so true, Morgan! I'm glad you get it! Life in your 20's is definitely no joke.
ReplyDeleteI feel like life in my 20's has definitely been filled with a lot of ups and downs, and I'm really just crossing my fingers that everything works out for the best. Thanks so much for your advice, Jenny.
ReplyDeleteI hate that you feel my pain, but also I'm glad that you do. Life your 20's is hard, and I wish someone would have warned me! I wasn't prepared. Good luck with all of your quarter-life crises as well! Hopefully we can both try to figure this out.
ReplyDeleteThe quarter-life crisis is real and alive, and I hate it. I just want to have my life figured out. Ah!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Jordyn! I feel like you definitely understand what I'm going through, and I'm so grateful for all of your advice! I feel like I just have so many questions, and I put way too much pressure on myself to try to figure things out quickly. I'm guilty of wanting instantaneous results, and I have to keep telling myself it doesn't work that way.
ReplyDeleteSo happy you can relate, Allison! Except I'm not happy, because I wouldn't wish this confusion on anyone!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like so much pressure and stress! It's good that you're going into it with the perspective that things are going to be awesome. The journey really is the hardest part, and I have a feeling that the two of you are going to be able to get through it!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a lot of change at once. I'm sorry that the transition hasn't been easy for you. I really can't imagine what that must be like. I agree that "what if" thinking can be so damaging, and like you, I'm guilty of doing a lot of it, especially lately. I hope everything works out for the best for you though!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree, Madison! Life as a 20-something isn't a joke. It's so hard and no one really warns you about it. I hate that older adults may have experienced these same things, yet they look down upon 20-something as if we're naive. Just so many frustrations. Thanks so much for your anxiety advice. This has been a struggle for me as of late, and I'm really trying to incorporate some exercise into my weekly routine.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding that there are a lot of 20-somethings out there who are feeling lost on their journeys as well, and it's kind of a relief to know that I'm not the only one freaking out. I think my career and relationships are the two things that have been causing me the most stress lately, and I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to try to just get it all in check. Thanks so much for all of your advice, Lisa!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Amy! Sending virtual hugs right back to you!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Ally! You're too sweet! I feel like I'm just in a confusing place, and I'm trying to accept that I'll never really have everything worked out, but if there are opportunities for greater happiness, I'm definitely going to step up and try to make those things happen. Pro/con lists are definitely one of my go-to strategies! Good to know I'm not the only one who loves a good pro/con list.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. You are not alone and if you ever need someone to talk to, you have me! I'm definitely in a slump right now and am hoping I'll snap out of it soon. <3
ReplyDeletexo
Lauren
The Fashionista's Diary
I feel like I have a quarter life crisis every two months! You are definitely not alone sweet girl. Hang in there, and just try to keep pushing. If there's anything I can do, you know exactly where to find me :)
ReplyDeleteXX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this post, girl! You know, you're definitely not alone. That's what your twenties are about. We have no freaking clue what we're doing. No idea what we're supposed to be doing. We haven't quite figured out what we like, what we don't like...so yep,I feel ya! Actually wrote a post about this 2 years ago. About being lost and why it's a good thing! Best of luck to you! xoxox, Kayla
ReplyDeleteCheck it out...it might help a little ---> http://www.lostgenygirl.com/relax-being-lost-is-a-good-thing/
Thank you for sharing! I am going through this right now! And I just turned 25 so I am due! I am sorry you had to go through this!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely in quarter-life crisis mode >.< Everyone tells me to have a full-time job and be settled in it, but that's horribly overwhelming. I have so many interests--how can I pick a career just now? Not to say it's good that you're going through this, but it's nice to hear someone talk about it, so thank you :)
ReplyDeleteJulia | Pennies & Paper
No problem, I'm glad my advice was helpful! That sounds great, thank you! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're so sweet, Lauren! I may have to take you up on that offer sometime! I hope you get out of your slump soon.
ReplyDeleteI pretty much feel the same way! I have mini freak outs about something or other, but this current one is just blowing my mind. I feel like I need everything in my life to change! Ah! #dramatic Thanks so much for your sweet words, and if I ever need someone to talk to, I may just look your way. Thanks for the offer!
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel like I've discovered a lot about myself in my 20's, but at the same time, there's even more that I'm still confused about. I'll definitely be checking out your blog post. Thanks so much, Kayla!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're going through this right now too! It's kind of a relief to know that I'm not alone, but at the same time, I wouldn't want anyone feeling the kind of confusion and self-doubt that I've been feeling lately. Good luck with your quarter-life crisis, and I hope everything works out for you (which I'm sure it will)!
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way, Julia! I have so many things I'm interested in. It seems impossible to pick a career and stick with it for the rest of forever. There's so much to explore and discover. If you ever need someone to chat about this with, I can definitely lend an ear!
ReplyDeleteI can definitely relate, girl. I'm going through the same thing. Just keep your head up and know that you are not alone! <3
ReplyDeleteAlexandra | www.cloudyskiesandsunshine.com
I can totally relate! Your 20s are super hard. Post-grad life is tricky. Hang in there girlfriend! Whatever you're going through now will make you stronger in the long run.
ReplyDeletexo, Alicia | Alicia Tenise
I so know this feeling! Going through it now and partly hating it and partly loving it. It's been a constant series of juxtaposes and contradictions.
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty, I can relate to this so much it hurts. I am at a crossroads too now. We are not traveling any more and my husband is going back to the daily grind of 9-5. My anxiety has been running rampant lately too because I have no clue what I want to do now that I am not a teacher. I want to make money, but I also hate working for others and honestly get social anxiety in workplaces. They don't prepare you for this stuff. The worst part...I am way past my quarter life crisis ha. I will actually be 30 early next year and still have no clue where my life is going. Being a post grad is certainly hard,but I realize now these things can happen at any age. I know it sounds dumb, but look inside yourself and think about what you want. Do you want a fat paycheck? Do you want to help people? Do you want to be creative? Take some personality tests and see what they say, who knows something may sound interesting. Focus on one thing at a time and realize it will all pan out. The thing is, even if you find a job now you love, who knows what will happen down the road. I'm trying to live day by day and not worry as much about the future.
ReplyDeleteThink about what makes you excited to get up in the morning...that may be your passion.
Hello to the world i am Leroy..i want to say that Dr Bully
ReplyDeletethe mighty spell caster from India. He is the only spell caster that can
help you solve your problem in 48 hours...after passing through a lot
of problems in my marriage, i contacted Dr Bully Shrine in Mumbai India
and in 48 hours, my wife who we were divorced for 4 years is back to me
for ever...Dr Bully is highly spiritual and can never disappoint you in
any problem. No matter what type of Relationship, Marital, Getting
Pregnant, Want a Baby,Court Case and disease you have, he is definitely
the best answer for you in 48 hours...his Temple address in Mumbai is 33-D, Gitanjali, Plot 52, Sector 17, Vashi, Navi Mumbai India.. and his Email address is bullytemple@yahoo.com
he is the solution to your problem..once again the temple email address is bullytemple@yahoo.com...His website is www.bullytemplehelp.webs.com...you can also add him on facebook as Kareem Abhida or his page on facebook
Dr BULLY Temple""..
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial stance.
(9) He can make you pregnancy
(10) GET BACK YOUR GAY BOYFRIEND WITHIN 48 HOURS,,....
Dude. Yes to all of this. Ever since I turned 24 (more than three years ago...), I've been feeling this way.
ReplyDeleteWhy DOES no one tell you everyone goes through this bullshit? It's stressful. It's frustrating. My anxiety has never been higher and you get to thinking, does this ever end? Will I always be a server because I can't figure out my life? Will I always be single because I can't figure out relationships?
The good news? We will be thirty some day. And that's when we figure everything out, right? ...
RIGHT?
Call me if you ever want to chat.
Xxoox
I'm 21 and graduating next year and post-uni life is already daunting for me. I'm given an opportunity to pursue my career but I'm so scared and feel I'm not qualified yet and my parents are pressuring me to quickly land a full time job so I can prove to the banks I got a stable income to afford a condo before all the condos in the city are snatched up or unaffordable. I think quarter-life crises is a rising issue - people our age just feels way too much pressured to "have it all together" and regardless of how everyone tells us we have to slow down, it's pretty much impossible
ReplyDelete